When truth is not really ugly
P
erception, like anything else plays an important part in how we make sense of the world. I learnt this during my college years, and this philosophy of mine became more concrete as I matured into adulthood. My mum used to always tell me that people's opinions are like the wind, today they blow east, tomorrow they blow west.
Having said that then, we all know that in order to improve ourselves and our well beings, we need something known as feedback. Of course self-reflection and ruminations are also important mental aspects in helping us grow and mature in our thinking and behavior. Yet, feedback also plays a pertinent part in one's development.
But sometimes, getting feedback...well it's not what everyone wants to proactively seek. Why? Cuz it's probably gonna be bad news and I guess most people can't deal with it at that point in time. To me personally, in my working years I have tried to seek feedback from my superiors from time to time. Not so much that I crave for it, but I feel it's always good to know where I stand, and where I can make improvements.
Does it hurt? Absolutely yes...well at times it does hurt. But sometimes the truth is what we need to hear if we want to improve ourselves. Truth by itself will always hurt, simply because it points to our flaws. And if you think about it, it's a good thing! If truth is skewed (which I believe it is since everyone has their own philosophy of truth), then what's the point of knowing the truth other than just patting ourselves in the back and justifying our "mis-perceived" actions as being "good".
Truth need not always be ugly. With the right frame of mind, and the correct attitude, truth can actually help us grow even further, in a way, truth can "fast-track" our development and maturity. But yes it will be painful, but again remember how I said about perception in the begining? Truth, if we percieve it to be painful will be painful. But if we apply meaning to that pain ; to use that pain to grow, to become a better man, then truth doesn't become as ugly as we think.
Incidentally, Lie to Me is one of my favourite TV shows.
When you really want to believe in something
I was watching The X Files (I bought all 9 seasons some time ago) last night. In particular I was watching this episode entitled Colony and End Game (season 2) where Mulder finds his sister back, only to realize she's a clone and she's not his real sister. His relentless pursuit for the truth lands him in the artic continent where he almost loses his life. I was quite taken up by his response when Scully asks him whether he did find what he was looking for up north.
Mulder : No, I didn't find it, but instead I found something else - the hope to keep on looking
I gotta admit, I felt a twingling sensation inside me when I heard that response. As the credits were rolling, my mind went back to his statement. Somehow I feel I can resonate with Mulder. There have been many times too that I too have clung on to something so much that I didn't want to give it away. Like Mulder, I too want to believe in those quests I believe in.
The question one might ask : Is Mulder cookoo? Or is he is just purely obsessed with something that can he knows is just not true? Or is he just in denial? Often times in my own life, I too have been in this position. I have been relentless in some of my pursuits, never willing to give up on something that is on my mind, whether it's in my work or searching for something or pursuing my relationships. Sometimes I wonder whether I am obsessed or whether I am just living in denial.
But like Mulder, I guess I share with him that same level of hope, that optimisim that somehow I will find the answers that I am looking for in this life. Perhaps it's just my nature. My parish priest observed that I am an optimistic person, that I am able to look at the good in a world filled with cynicism.
This gift that I have perhaps can help answer the question I raised above. Whether or not Mulder is cookoo is irrelevant - because for people like him and me, hope is what keep us going, and in the words of Sayid Jarrah of the tv show Lost, "Hope is a dangerous thing to lose"....
At the end of the day, it is hope, that keeps us going and believing...
Why do we say nice things about people only after they’re dead?
Newsweek recently ran an article on the late Sen. Edward Kennedy and many prominent figures, such as John Kerry (one of my favourite politicians by the way), and Bob Dole wrote beautiful articles, paying tribute to one of the 'greatest senators of the United States of America of all time'... the articles were inspiring, many of them filled with memorable moments where Teddy made such positive impacts and contributions in their lives and to society.
But in the midst of all the admiration and accolades that were being lauded to the last of the Keneddy brothers, it got me thinking...'jeez wouldn't it have been nice if the old man got to hear all this when he still was alive?'
And that got me to think about Michael Jackson as well. At one time, he was nick-named 'Wacko Jacko' and who can forget his infamous baby-on-the-balcony-apartment antics, or his 'pedophilia escapades' or the ludicrus claim that he used to sleep in a special oxygen gas chamber?
When MJ died, suddenly millions were crying, millions more were saying what an amazing guy he was, how big was his heart, how much he cared for the underprivlleaged, how he revolutinized the music world, how his music made a difference in everyone's lives, and how he will be missed.
Gee, if only Michael was alive to hear this...
So why is that do we only say nice things about people only once they've died? Is it because we're just not used to flattering people? Is it because when people are alive, we only look at their faults, and when they're dead, there's no point looking at their faults, because these faults cannot be undo, therefore we rather say nice things about them?
Or is it maybe because death is the one thing we fear, and perhaps saying nice things about a person is one way of us coping with that inevitable nature of life?
Something to think about and ponder...
